It has been right at one year since I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD. My psychologist told me that he felt that although ADHD is the reason for many of the difficulties that I’ve been experiencing, it’s also the reason for much of my success in life as well. He said it has been a catalyst for success as I’ve always been good at developing coping mechanisms that allowed me to leverage the strengths of ADHD (my superpowers as I now call them) instead of succumbing to it’s challenges–I just never knew that developing coping mechanisms is what I was doing. He felt that now that I knew what the problem was, I could probably work on developing new coping mechanisms instead of treating it with medication.

Over the past year I’ve learned so much about ADHD and about myself. I have discovered a number of motivational and productivity coping mechanisms, but there were still some areas I haven’t been able to develop coping mechanisms to deal with effectively. Last August I decided to try ADHD medication to see what benefit it might have. My psychologist who diagnosed me couldn’t prescribe the medication because clinical psychologists are PhDs, instead of MDs and only MDs can prescribe medication–so he referred me to my primary care physician. When I had my physical last August I talked to my doctor about prescribing ADHD medication. He said he wasn’t comfortable prescribing those kinds of drugs and monitoring them but he would be glad to refer me to a psychiatrist who could. I didn’t really want to do that at the time so I decided to wait a while longer.

About a month ago I decided it really was time to try medication and I couldn’t put it off any longer. I called my psychologist and asked for a referral and he said that he had never heard of primary care physician referring someone to a psychiatrist for this–general practitioners typically prescribe and monitor ADHD medication. So, with this in mind I changed doctors. Because I’ve read that there is some abuse with these types of drugs, I chose a doctor I go to church with to provide an extra level of accountability. I met with him last Monday, we had a long discussion, and he prescribed 20mg or 40mg of Ritalin-SR in the mornings. I started taking one tablet each morning last Tuesday.

I had done a lot of research on ADHD medication (there is a great section on ADHD medication in the book More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD by Ari Tuckman) but I still didn’t know what to expect for myself.

I don’t really feel different at all on the medication. My wife says she can tell a big difference in me though. I found that rather interesting. Since there wasn’t any “Wow!” kind of feeling, it made me wonder why these drugs are abused. Maybe they have different effects on different people. I’ve been journaling what I experience throughout the day so that I can share that with my doctor when I go back next month. I want to share some of the insights I’ve gleaned so far here as well. I think it’s important to note that anything I’m experiencing at this stage of the game could just be the placebo effect–I experienced initial improvement a couple years ago when my primary doctor put me on antidepressants too, but into the second month it seemed like they were doing nothing.

From the very first morning, I felt a little more peaceful and relaxed. It wasn’t a dramatic difference, but a subtle difference. It’s interesting that Ritalin is a stimulant but that stimulants have a calming effect on people with ADHD.

As I’m doing my work, I find that I still feel overwhelmed at times. I look at my task list and see that there is much more to do than I’ll ever have time to do it. Now it doesn’t feel so much like something that consumes me. I’m able to recognize that the feeling of overwhelm exists, but I can also make a decision about what I need to do in the midst of the overwhelm. Previously, this was often incredibly difficult if not impossible some days.

One of the big issues that pushed me to try medication was that I found myself hyperfocusing on some of the negative things in my life that I seem to have little influence on. I’m a problem solver and when my mind sees something that isn’t as it should be, it goes to work looking for solutions. Since I have little influence in these areas, my mind was like a car spinning its tires in the mud. I couldn’t seem to get it out of my mind and I would get more depressed and frustrated when I didn’t find solutions to try. I still have those negative thoughts and feelings but with the medication, I feel like I can make a conscious decision to stop dwelling on those things.  This has been incredibly empowering. I know that two mornings last week my wife asked me how I felt when I woke up and I said, “Crummy,” because I woke up hyperfocusing on one of those areas. However, about a half hour or so after taking my pill I was able to recognize the feeling and decide to not focus on it and let it consume me. As I’ve been able to do that for several days, I’m also finding that I’m more empowered to do that after the drug wears off as well.

Another one of my big challenges has been tasks that require a lot of mental effort and creativity. Writing is an excellent example of this kind of task. Before I was on the medication, it could be really difficult to get started on this kind of thing. Just like with overwhelm, I still feel the resistance to the task. Now I seem to be able to accept the fact I have a resistance to the task but then to make a decision to move forward on it. Once I develop some mental inertia I’m then OK to continue on and stay focused. I still use the Two Techniques for Getting Started and Maintaining Focus that I shared yesterday, but now they work much better for me than they did before the medication.

I seem to be able to maintain focus better now on things where I used to get very distracted–and it’s not a hyperfocused type of focus where I can’t pull myself away either. It’s more of a relaxed focus. I still have lot’s of thoughts going through my head all the time, but I feel like I can better choose which ones to ignore and which ones to give my attention to. Rather than my thoughts controlling me, I feel like I control my thoughts better. This seems to be true for a variety of situations besides when I’m working, such as when I’m reading, talking to someone, or listening to a message at church.

I’m more aware of when I’m tired now. I think I’ve often pushed my mind to exhaustion because I didn’t recognize that I needed to rest. Mental work takes a lot of energy and that’s what I do most of the time. I think I recognized tiredness as boredom before. It has been said that the ADHD mind is like a race car–it’s always revved up and racing. So, when my mind would get tired, it still wanted to keep going, but I didn’t have the energy to keep going. My response was to find something I did have the energy to do. My mind was rarely at rest, even if I tried to make it rest. So, when I was tired, I would try to keep doing things, but they were often things that weren’t as important as something else, so I felt bad about the fact that I was avoiding and procrastinating working on the important thing. Now that I recognize that my mind is just tired, I’m better able to step away and just go site outside and enjoy nature, take a nap, or do something else more restful to refuel.

So far, my biggest downside, or side effect has been a feeling in my head that I can’t really explain. It’s almost but not quite like a tenderness after a headache. It’s almost but not quite a light-headed feeling. It’s almost but not quite a mushy feeling in the mind. I’ve began to wonder if this is just the feeling of having the brakes applied to a Ferrari  that’s always run at full speed. I’m not sure, and it’s definitely manageable.

In general, I feel like the Ritalin has helped lighten many of my burdens. Imagine you’re carrying four 10-pounds of groceries. Now imagine that a friend comes along and offers to carry two of them for you. Your burden is now cut in half. You still have to carry the groceries, but you have help. In general, this is how I see Ritalin. I still have the same burdens, but I recognize them for what they are, and then make a decision to do what I need to do.

As I said earlier, all of this could still be the placebo effect. But even if it is, I’ve learned a lot more about myself and I know that I’m capable of doing more and doing it better.

Two of the biggest obstacles for those of us with adult ADHD is the ability to get started on a task and to maintain focus on that task once we’ve started it. If it’s interesting and easy we probably don’t have problems getting started and sometimes our ability to hyperfocus on the task will kick in and we can’t pull ourselves away from the task once we do get started. However, if we don’t find the task interesting, our minds go on the hunt for other more interesting things to occupy it.

I’ve shared about several of my coping mechanisms for motivation and productivity here in the past, such as the First This Then That Technique and How to Power Through Email, Complex Projects, or Boring Tasks by Tracking Your Progress. I still use those techniques. In fact, I’ve discovered that what may work one day may not work another day, so I have to have a toolbox full of techniques so I can find something that works for me at the time. For the past few weeks I’ve been using a couple other techniques that have helped a lot two.

The “I’m Doing…” List
My regular readers know about how much I depend on lists and checklists for lots of things. I do have my regular GTD style next action list that I try to work from and that’s where most of my tasks come from. In the past I would just draw a line thrrough things on the list as I completed them (yes, I use paper for my task lists). I still do this, but now I also keep a 3×5 Post-It Note pad on my desk where I write down what I’m working on at the time. This is my “I’m Doing…” list.

When I select something from my next actions list to work on, I write it on my “I’m Doing…” list. The list stays close to me and in my field of vision. If I get distracted I glance down and see it and remind myself, “Oh yeah, I was ‘Responding to Don’s email about the article.’” When I see that I can usually get back on task. If the thing I got distracted by is actually worth doing later I’ll add it to my task list; either way, I’m usually able to quickly get back to my previous task without having to consciously try to remember what I was doing.

When I finish the task, I mark through it on both lists. If I do have to do something else in the middle I write that task down as the one I’m currently doing (occasionally, but rarely, I may have 3 or 4 things open on my “I’m Doing…” list. I only mark through an item when I’ve finished working on it, so it forces me to get back to what I was doing before. Another benefit of the “I’m Doing…” list is that at the end of the day I can see everything I accomplished in one place. This is encouraging as there is no doubt that I’ve been productive.

Ask Yourself, “If I Had Nothing Else In The World To Do But…, What Would I Do?”
This is a technique I use to help  overcome initial procrastination and overwhelm. Once I write an item on my “I’m Doing…” list, I still have to get started working on it. Sometimes this is easy, but other times it’s like pulling teeth to get myself moving on it–especially if it’s a big task or one that will require a lot of mental effort.

The conventional wisdom is to break these tasks down into smaller tasks, but this is often difficult to do as well. When I experience this, I ask myself, “If I Had Nothing Else In The World To Do But <the task I’m working on>, What Would I Do?” This helps me get into the mindset that it really is the only thing in the world I have to do; then I can usually break through my resistance barrier. Once I’m moving on the task and I develop a little mental inertia, I’m often able to keep working on it with little difficulty. If I get stuck again, I ask myself the question again.

Let Me Know How These Work For You
I hope you will give these two techniques a try and that they work as well for you as they have for me in recent weeks. If you do try them, let me know how they work in the comments. As always, let me know how you’ve modified these techniques to make them work for you as well.

One of the people I follow in Twitter is author and speaker Laurie Beth Jones (@LairieBethJones). She’s written many best-selling Christian self-improvement books such as: Jesus, Life Coach; Jesus, CEO; Jesus, Career Counselor; Jesus in Blue Jeans; and The Four Elements of Success.

I was introduced to her work about 8 years ago when I read her book The Path: Creating Your Mission Statement for Work and for Life. As I worked through The Path, I learned a lot about my talents, skills, and calling and formulated my personal mission statement, “My mission is to Empower, Challenge, and Advance People through Technology for Personal Growth.” I soon shortened this to simply, “Empower. Challenge. Advance.” and it’s been the tag line of my blog ever since. If you haven’t yet discovered your mission in life, I would suggest you work your way through The Path as well; it really is a great book.

On Friday, February 17th, I was skimming through my Twitter feed while waiting on a flight in the St. Louis airport. I saw the following tweet from her:

I hadn’t yet read her book The Four Elements of Success, but I had read some of her tweets about it so I knew it had something to do with how the metaphors of Earth, Wind, Fire, and Water relate to each individual’s success , but that was about it. I was extremely surprised to learn that I had won a free Path Elements Profile. At the time I didn’t even know what a Path Elements Profile was.

What is the Path Elements Profile?

The Path Elements Profile is a short online assessment that takes about 10- to 15-minutes to complete. The assessment consists of 16 four-word sets. In each set, you rank the four words in the order with which they describe you most. It’s incredibly fast, easy, and doesn’t take a lot of thinking—in fact, you don’t want to over-think it all.

When you finish the assessment, you’ll receive a 13-page report with lots of great information to help you better understand how you relate to the world around you. It’s kind of like what you would get with other “personality tests” such as the Myers Brigs Type Indicator, Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, or the Five Factor Model, except that the analysis centers around the metaphors of Earth, Wind, Fire, and Water.

My Results

When you finish the test, you’ll find that you have Essential Elements, Moderate Elements, and Different Elements. Earth is my essential element, Water is my moderate element, and Wind and Fire are both different elements. This means that I most strongly exhibit many of the behaviors associated with the element of Earth, many of the behaviors associated with Water, and very few of the behaviors associated with Wind and Fire.

I felt the assessment was quite accurate for me. It correctly identified many of my strengths such as:accurate with details, organized and scheduled, analytical, factual, satisfied, consistent, and trusting. It also identified many of my challenges such as: boring, perfectionist, emotionless, self-critical, passive, and complacent. As I read over the strengths and challenge of Fire and Wind types, I could recognize why I often clash with people who exhibit many of those strengths and challenges.

One particular section that stood out said, “Earth can be more successful if it will: Loosen Up – and Open Up!” I remember very early on after meeting my wife she told me, “You need to loosen up!” and she’s been reminding me of that for over twenty years now.

Three full pages of the profile explains how my profile type tends to respond in a variety of situations such as Adventure, Anger, Conflict, Fear, Fun, and Leadership. I found the insights in this section to be both confirming and eye-opening. In the section on communication it said, “Relies on written or verbal, not physical, communication.” In the Leadership section it said, “Does not respond well to emotional, undisciplined leadership.” I’ve always considered bold displays of emotion and lack of discipline to be childish and repulsive, but couldn’t have put it in these words before seeing this.

At the end of the profile are 8 questions to answer and work through. four questions are in the area of your strengths and four of them in the area of your challenges. As you work through these questions you’ll create a plan for growth and improvement. This is incredibly valuable and something that I’m sure I’ll be mindfully working on over the next year or two.

Summary

It costs $49.00 $28.99 for a Path Elements Profile. I probably would not have paid for one before I won one. However, after receiving the results, and working my way through the growth and improvement plan, I’m confident that I’ll get far more value out of it than it would have cost. So, yes, I do believe it would have been well worth the cost to help me see myself in a different way. It’s incredibly hard for us to get an outsiders view of how we work and interact with others.

Having said that though, it will continue to be important that I continue to review and work in the areas I’ve already identified in my growth and improvement plan. I think that without work in this area, the profile is fun and interesting, but it won’t make a lasting improvement on my life and the lives of those around me.

A couple weeks ago I had some work that I really, really needed to get done. I was way behind schedule and my deadline was the next day. Ugh!

That afternoon, a good friend sent me an Instant Message inviting me to a concert.  I typed my reply, “I really wish I could, but I’ve got some work I absolutely have to get done tonight.” I was about to press the Enter key to send it when I had a thought, In five years will I remember that I worked late tonight?

I have no idea what inspired that question to pop into my mind, but in an instant I realized that in five years I would have absolutely no recollection of working that night or what I had accomplished. However, if I went to the concert, I would probably still remember it five years later; my friend would probably remember it too. Sure, there were some benefits to working late too.

I held down the backspace key and began typing again, “I would love to! Thanks for thinking of me!” We had a great time at the concert and just hanging out together. I’m so glad I went.

And the fallout from the work I didn’t have done wasn’t nearly as bad as I had originally imagined  in my mind. I still had time to do some of it, even though it wasn’t as polished as I originally wanted.

So, what opportunities do you have today? Which ones will you remember in five years? Which ones will you choose?

I realize it’s my responsibility to motivate myself and get myself working productively on the things I need to work on. Sometimes that can be a very difficult though, especially when I need to do work that requires a lot of creativity or other mental energy. Everyone experiences this sort of thing at time, but adults with ADHD (or ADD) experience it more often.

About twenty years ago I worked with my Dad installing fire sprinkler systems. One time we were doing an inspection in a very large manufacturing plant. The plant  had signs posted every fifty-feet or so throughout the plant that said, “Motivation is not an external pressure applied, but an internal force released.” That phrase stuck in my mind and has been with me ever since.

If that statement is true, then how do I release that internal force of motivation?

Like a geyser, sometimes the pressure has to build up before it can be released. Once there is enough pressure, or a small puncture, it will be released. Until then, there is no evidence of motivation.

Sometimes I’ll build up pressure through procrastination. This is a bad way to build the pressure. I wait until something absolutely has to be done and I’m experiencing the pressure of a looming deadline; that releases my motivation.

Sometimes I’ll build up pressure by starting something small. If I have a report to write, I might begin by telling myself, I don’t have to write the report, but I’m just going to open Word. Maybe I’ll save a blank document with the filename of the report. Then before I know it I’m writing the report. The idea is to find the smallest activity I have the energy to do; once I get started, the rest of my motivation can then be released. This is like sticking a pin in a water balloon to get my motivation flowing, then, as it flows, the pinhole gets larger and I have more motivation flowing out.

Sometimes I need to build resolve by doing something totally unrelated to what I need to do. Resolve can be related to motivation, but it’s not exactly the same thing. Resolve means, “to come to a definite or earnest decision about. To build resolve, I sometimes use a technique I call the First This Then That Principle. I then use the resolve to release motivation.

There are three very simple steps to apply the First This Then That Principle:

1. Make a statement about what you are going to do. This is the action that you are resisting. The more specific the statement is, the better it is. It could be something like, “I’m going to work on my income tax returns” or “I’m going to write the report”. Those are both OK, but if you can make it a small definite action (like I mentioned in the “Start something small” section above) it would be even better. Consider something like, “I’m going to gather the necessary income tax forms” or “I’m going to locate the statistics for the report.” This is the “That” part of the equation.
2. Do something you aren’t resisting. While you’re doing it, periodically remind yourself what you’re going to do as soon as you finish. This action could be something like walking around the block, driving to the coffee shop, taking a nap, reading a chapter in a book, watching a television show, or just about anything you aren’t resisting. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a productive task. A 10- to 20-minute activity usually works well for me. If the action is too brief, like a quick trip to the bathroom or getting a cup of coffee, you may not have enough time to build much resolve. If the action is too long, like going to the movies or walking for an hour, you may use too much energy on the activity and not have the energy you need for the activity you need to do. This action is the “First This” part of the equation.
3. As soon as you finish the first activity, immediately start what you originally planned to do. Make the transition immediately. If you need to work on your taxes, and you chose to walk around the block first, then as soon as you walk back into the house, sit down at your desk and start gathering the tax forms. If you need to write the report, and you chose to watch a video first, then as soon as the credits roll, go to  your computer and start locating the statistics for the report. It’s very important that you do this action immediately. Don’t check email first, don’t check Twitter, don’t go the bathroom, don’t get a cup of coffee. When the first activity is done IMMEDIATELY start the next activity. The momentum will mix with your resolve to release your motivation. This immediate transition becomes the “Then” part of the equation.

So, give the First This Then That Principle a try the next time you have difficulty motivating yourself to do something. If it works for you, let me know in the comments. If it doesn’t, let me know that too. As always, I welcome any other questions and comments you may have too.

Now, I need to document the steps in a SharePoint Administrator Training lab project; first I’m going to take a walk and then I’m going to log into my virtual machine.

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. I find that for most people there isn’t a lot of resolve there and they quickly fail at their so-called “resolution”. I’m no exception to this.

However, I do set goals for things I would like to achieve over the course of the year. In recent years, I’ve fallen short of several of my goals in several areas. I’ve met some of my goals, but I haven’t done nearly as well as I would have liked.

My Weekly Goals

Usually I’ll set a goal for things like a certain weight I would like to achieve or certain projects I would like to finish or other similar things. Since my diagnosis with Adult ADD (Attenion Defecit Disorder), I’ve been thinking about things in terms of the amount of attention I give them. This has led to a change in my goals for 2012 and how I track those goals.

I’ve given myself a set amount of attention I would like to apply to in certain areas on a weekly basis. Here are those areas:

• Work 5-hours on Mindful Worship
• Work 5-hours on Spears Technologies
• Work 5-hours on my college studies at West Coast Bible College
• Create something worth sharing
• Hike for 3-hours
• Eat high-protein/low-carbohydrate for 5-days
• Interact socially for 3-hours
• Encourage others 10-times

There are other areas of my life I want to work on, but these are the areas I’ve fallen short in the most over the past year and want to work on this year. I’ll probably add more areas later on, especially as I find better ways to quantify the amount of attention I invest in the area.

Why Have I Chosen A Weekly Break-Down of Attention Invested?

I’ve wanted to bring my goals down to an area where I feel like I have more control and I can invest more energy and attention. For example, you’ll notice that two of my goals are related to health and fitness (hike for 3-hours and eat high-protein/low-carbohydrate for 5-days). Ultimately, the results of this will be reflected in a decrease in my weight. However, if I set a goal to decrease my weight by a certain number of pounds, it’s easy to get discouraged if I do well and don’t see the decrease in weight (or as rapid a decrease as I would like). However, by doing these two things consistently on a weekly basis, I know I’m moving toward an over-arching goal of improved health and fitness.

Last year I set a goal to publish 25 new Mindful Worship meditations; I only published one and that was way back in January. I also set a goal to write a book in the area of Christian meditation and I didn’t do any work on it at all. Both of these things are too big for me to get my around fully and although I know they are achievable, they seem too big and it’s easy to get discouraged and sidetracked.

I’m Tracking My Goals with Grades

Each of these goals is an ideal. I realize that I’m not going to meet each of these goals every week—it’s just not possible. So, I’ve decided to give myself a letter grade in each area. Here is how those letter grades are calculated:

• Work 5-hours on Mindful Worship
  Grades: 5=A; 4=B; 3=C; 2=C; 1=D; <1=F
  
• Work 5-hours on Spears Technologies
  Grades: 5=A; 4=B; 3=C; 2=C; 1=D; <1=F
  
• Work 5-hours on my college studies at West Coast Bible College
  Grades: 5=A; 4=B; 3=C; 2=C; 1=D; <1=F
• Create something worth sharing
  Grades: Yes=A; No=F
• Hike for 3-hours
  3=A; 2=B; 1=C; .5=D; <.5=F
• Eat high-protein/low-carbohydrate for 5-days
  5=A; 4=B; 3=C; 2=C; 1=D; <1=F
• Interact socially for 3-hours
  3=A; 2=B; 1=C; .5=D; <.5=F
• Encourage others 10-times
  9-10=A; 7-8=B; 5-6=C; 3-4=C; 1-2=D; <1=F

Most weeks, I should be able to reach a satisfactory “C” level in most of these areas. In fact, I should be able to reach excellent “A” or great “B” grade in most of them. Some weeks I will find that I need improvement “D” or totally fail “F” in an area, and that’s OK and to be expected. No one is perfect. However, by investing a small amount of attention in each of these areas each week, I know that I’ll be moving in the direction I want to move in regarding these areas of my life. A lower grade just means I’m not moving as quickly as I would like while a higher grade means I’m moving along at a good clip.

The other nice thing about weekly grades is that I start with a fresh slate each week. I may get a “D” or “F” in an area one week and then get two or three “A”s in following weeks. By starting each new week with a clean slate, I’m motivated to do some work in that area the next week.

At this point, I do plan to calculate monthly and quarterly summaries.

Questions and Comments

I’ve read dozens of books on motivation, organization, and goal setting. I don’t recall reading about anyone else setting and tracking goals exactly this way, so you may have some questions. If you do, please ask them below. You may have questions about how I chose a particular goal or the details behind one. Ask that below too. You may have ideas for how to expand on this idea; if you do, please share those below for others’ benefit.

In my last post, I shared about how I don’t feel that an ADHD diagnosis is a disability, but rather it is incredibly liberating. In case you haven’t read that post already, here is the portion where I talk about this:

Let me begin by saying that there is something very liberating about my diagnosis. I don’t see my ADHD as a disability in any way—in fact, just like with Steve Jobs, Ted Turner, Bill Gates, and Albert Einstein, I feel it has been a strength and a contributing factor in my success up to this point. However, there are challenges and difficulties. One of those challenges is that it’s difficult (and sometimes impossible) to stay mentally focused and engaged on tasks that we don’t find interesting.

Imagine that you were wrestling with The Invisible Man. He has you pinned to the floor and no matter how hard you try to get up, you can’t; there is this unseen resistance that you can’t overcome. You feel paralyzed for no reasons and just feel like if you tried harder you get up. You’ve never heard of The Invisible Man before, you can’t see him, he’s bigger and stronger than you are, and he’s got you pinned to the floor. Then suddenly, someone (probably your clinical psychologist or psychiatrist) throws a bucket of paint on the two of you. All of a sudden, you realize you aren’t paralyzed after all—you just have a big man on top of you holding you down. Now you can see your challenger! After he has been identified, you are then on a level playing field where you can meet his challenges.

This is what my ADHD diagnosis was like for me. Now that I can see my challenger, I can find ways to overcome those challenges. To those without ADHD, these may seem like small insignificant challenges. That’s OK. You’re wrestling with The Invisible Man. But those who are need some strategies and techniques in order to win the fight. This article is one such strategy that I’ve stumbled upon that helps me tremendously.

As I was writing this analogy of wrestling with The Invisible Man, I happened to remember something I had shared with my psychologist. I shared with him about a recurring aspect of some of my dreams. I must admit that I very rarely remember my dreams, but I typically do remember a few each year. For the past 4 or 5 years, I would periodically dream that I was in some threatening situation and that I was unable to move at all—I was totally paralyzed. In the earlier parts of the dream I was normal, then I would be threatened by thugs on the street, invaders in my home, or in some other situation. I was never hurt in the dreams, but the threat was very near. I would struggle to move, but couldn’t move a single muscle. Then I would suddenly break free and simultaneously I would wake up.

I’ve never been one to think much about dreams as a window into the subconscious. I do believe that God revealed things to people in the Bible through dreams and that He can do that today as well. I think that most of the people who try to interpret every dream as having either some deep spiritual or psychological meaning are making dreams much more of a god than they deserve to be. Having said all that, I do think these dreams of mine had some relation to what was going on inside my mind.

I had been searching for a few years for the cause of some of my challenges in life. When I was diagnosed with ADHD, a lot of things suddenly made sense. Just like in my story above, I could finally see my challenger, and since I could see him, the playing field was leveled and I could look for ways to beat him. In my dream, as soon as my muscles broke free from the paralysis, I woke up. In real life, once I realized the cause of the challenges it was like waking up from a dream.

It’s interesting to note that I haven’t had this particular theme in a dream since then. I don’t know if this should be explained as psychological or spiritual, but I do believe there was some connection between this dream theme and my diagnosis. Now that I’m ‘awake’ I’ve been finding lots of ways to cope and overcome The Invisible Man of ADHD.

So, has anyone else experienced anything like this? Have you experienced something where a dream turned out to have a deeper connection to something going on psychologically inside you that was undiagnosed? I know I can’t be unique here and I would like to hear other’s stories.

It’s been a while since I posted about my diagnosis with Adult ADHD earlier this year. When I wrote that post, I promised that I would be sharing more about my experience and especially about the coping mechanisms that I’ve implemented to help me overcome some of the difficulties.

The Liberation of an Adult ADHD Diagnosis

Let me begin by saying that there is something very liberating about my diagnosis. I don’t see my ADHD as a disability in any way—in fact, just like with Steve Jobs, Ted Turner, Bill Gates, and Albert Einstein, I feel it has been a strength and a contributing factor in my success up to this point. However, there are challenges and difficulties. One of those challenges is that it’s difficult (and sometimes impossible) to stay mentally focused and engaged on tasks that we don’t find interesting.

Imagine that you were wrestling with The Invisible Man. He has you pinned to the floor and no matter how hard you try to get up, you can’t; there is this unseen resistance that you can’t overcome. You feel paralyzed for no reasons and just feel like if you tried harder you get up. You’ve never heard of The Invisible Man before, you can’t see him, he’s bigger and stronger than you are, and he’s got you pinned to the floor. Then suddenly, someone (probably your clinical psychologist or psychiatrist) throws a bucket of paint on the two of you. All of a sudden, you realize you aren’t paralyzed after all—you just have a big man on top of you holding you down. Now you can see your challenger! After he has been identified, you are then on a level playing field where you can meet his challenges.

This is what my ADHD diagnosis was like for me. Now that I can see my challenger, I can find ways to overcome those challenges. To those without ADHD, these may seem like small insignificant challenges. That’s OK. You’re wrestling with The Invisible Man. But those who are need some strategies and techniques in order to win the fight. This article is one such strategy that I’ve stumbled upon that helps me tremendously.

Progress Bars – What Are They?

You’ve seen progress bars when your computer was performing some kind of processing. There is usually a graphical bar and sometimes they will display a percentage complete. Sometimes they will even display the number of items to be processed and indicate the current process that is in progress. I don’t remember, but I think I got the idea in this post from this latter kind of progress bar. I’ve been using it for several months now and it’s really helped me. There area few ways I implement the method, and I’ll try to share as many of them here as I can.

Counting down – How I Power Through Email

When I process my email inbox, my goal is to process everything there and for my inbox to be empty. This is what David Allen calls Zero Base and what Merlin Mann calls Inbox Zero. When I start processing my email inbox, I grab a scratch pad of paper and write down the number of emails that are currently in my inbox. Then periodically as I process them I will scratch through the number and write down the new number. For some reason, this helps me to see the goal as getting closer and helps me to maintain my focus on the task.

I have several email addresses, all for different purposes. Most of them are combined into one email inbox, but some of them have to remain distinct and separate. In my main email account I also have lots of things that automatically got a label named “ads’ that I only process once every week or two. I write each one of these down as a separate column as I’m processing each one. Here is a picture of my scratch pad after processing three email accounts.

You’ll notice that I will often process several emails before scratching through a number and writing down a new one. At other times, I’ll only process one email before I scratch through and write down a new one. Essentially, I do this each time I feel I need a boost to my focus. Writing down the new number brings my mind back on task to process the next email.

Marking-off Numbered Tasks – How I Power Through Reading Books

For as long as I can remember, whenever I was reading a book, I would always make a note of the last page of the chapter I was reading at the time. This gave me a short-term goal to work toward and I felt really good when I finished each chapter.

Right now I’m reading a book for school that is very challenging to stay focused on. To take this book one chapter at a time is too big of a chunk for me. However, to take it one page at a time is about right.  So, before I read a chapter, I write down the page numbers for that chapter on a piece of scrap note paper. Then as I read each page (or sometimes after reading a few pages) I will mark through the page number(s) I’ve just read. If I’m tempted to stop reading, I can usually talk myself into reading, “just one more page,” so I can mark of just one more number.

Here is a picture of a couple pieces of my scratch pad. The first one shows all the pages marked through after reading Chapter 10 and the second one shows the pages I need to read before I go to bed tonight.

Journal What I’m Doing as I’m Doing It – How I Power Through Complex Projects

I love to document things. This has been a very helpful tool in writing courseware for the SharePoint Training classes I write and teach. As I’m working through a project I will often document my progress to help me stay on task. As I perform different tasks, I make notes about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and sometimes little conversations about how I’m feeling at the time. This documentation is not only encouraging, but also useful for troubleshooting. I recently had another consultant take over for me on a job I had been working on. I gave him all my notes about what I had already done so he easily knew the landscape of the project. I usually take these notes in Evernote. Here is a screenshot of part of one of those notes:

Chat Style Documenting of What I’m Doing as I’m Doing It – How I Power Through Boring Tasks

Sometimes a boring task doesn’t really lend itself the kind of detailed documentation I’ve indicated above and it doesn’t include numbered or counted items like in the previous two examples. I need something in between; I need something like Twitter or Instant Message. Sometimes I’ll Instant Message a coworker what I’m doing at the time, and update this each time I switch to a new task.

Here is an actual chat session I sent to one of my coworkers. Notice that I was providing updates as though he were watching a server automatically perform the tasks.

I also have a simple chat client installed on my own web server and I’ll use that to do this sort of thing as well. Here is an excerpt from when I was packaging some hardware and handling some emails. Notice that once again it has that computer-like tone of: I’m starting… I’m doing… … completed.

This could be accomplished using a Twitter account as well.

Amateur Cartography – How I’m Motivating Myself to Exercise

One of my favorite ways to get my body moving is walking. However, I find walking around my neighborhood very boring. I do like to be out in the woods though. I’ve been using the GPS on my phone to map some trails. I’ve also been taking other notes about the trails, and I’m gathering quite a bit of information about them. I’m not exactly sure how I’ll use it, but at the end of a hike I feel like I have something to show for it. I can look at my data and see that I have created something of value. One of the reasons I’ve never liked to exercise is because I don’t feel like I have something tangible to show for it; now I do.

Conclusion

So, there you have it… five ways I document my progress. These simple tools help me stay focused on the task at hand until it’s done. There are many variations you could take on these five methods too. Hopefully you’ll share your own ideas and tweaks in the comments.

Many of you will remember the post I wrote last year where I came out about suffering from Depression. I never provided any updates about my condition after that though.

The condensed version is that a few months ago I was clinically diagnosed with ADHD instead of depression. This was a complete surprise to me, but so many things in my life make so much more sense now in light of what I’ve learned about ADHD.

I have a lot more that I want to share on my blog here about my experience with ADHD, but I feel that before I can, I need to write an initial update about how I went from a depression diagnosis to an ADHD diagnosis. So, here is a more detailed look at what has happened in my life over the past year or so.

The Long Journey to Discovery

In my previous post, I wrote in considerable detail about my history to that point—how I searched for some answers to what I had been feeling and experiencing for a few years. You’ll remember that I talked to my doctor about what I was experiencing and he agreed that it sounded like I was experiencing depression. He prescribed 10mg of Paxil a day. I took this for about five months. For the first month or two I felt much better, but it quickly wore off and I was right back to feeling bored with life and feeling down about certain aspects of my life. I attributed my temporary improvement to the placebo effect of being on a drug. I stopped taking the Paxil entirely after a particularly difficult weekend where I experienced some kind of breakdown that left me in tears and unable to drive or even communicate for a couple hours; God’s grace pulled me through that.

For a few months I worked with a wonderful productivity coach, Tara Rodden Robinson, in a small master-mind group. That was helpful, but still didn’t fully resolve my issues with what I was feeling and experiencing.

I worked with a Christian Counselor for a couple months too. Although he was a very nice guy, and it was great to be able to open up to someone about some things, I didn’t feel like we were making any progress so I stopped seeing him.

After some encouragement from my wonderful wife, I finally decided to schedule an appointment with a Clinical Psychologist. This is what I should have done several years ago. After our second session, he told me he suspected that I suffer from ADHD. That was a total shock and a real surprise to me because it wasn’t something I had ever considered at all. He asked me to take a variety of multiple-choice tests which would help him to better diagnose me. The tests confirmed his initial suspicion; he made a definitive clinical diagnosis that I do in fact have ADHD. One of the tests also revealed some mild depression, but certainly nothing at the clinical level.

How Can ADHD Be Confused with Depression?

Most people think of hyperactive children when they hear the term ADHD. Although many hyperactive children do suffer from ADHD, ADHD isn’t just a disorder experienced by children and isn’t just about hyperactivity—everyone who suffers from it doesn’t display the bouncing-off-the-walls disposition.

The things that most people with ADHD do have in common is that our minds are constantly thinking a whirlwind of thoughts. Our minds are constantly looking for something we find interesting and if it doesn’t find it we feel ‘bored.’ The whirlwind us usually only broken when a particular thought grabs our attention at which time we go into a mode of ‘hyperfocus’ where we explore the interesting topic deeply in our minds and find it extremely difficult to think about anything else.

When the boredom and hyperfocus from ADHD is combined, it can easily confused with depression. There are several symptoms of depression. One of those is, “loss of interest in activities or hobbies that were once pleasurable.” When one has ADHD, most things are only interesting for a while, then we get bored with them. Another symptom is, “difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions.” Although many of us implemented a variety of coping mechanisms over the years, these things are a day-to-day reality for us because we always have this whirlwind of thoughts going through our minds. One of the symptoms of depression that most people thing of when they hear the word depression is, “persistent sad, anzious, or ‘empty’ feelings” and “feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness.” When my mind would discover a problem over which I really had little control, but yet felt that I ought to be able to find a solution, my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about the problem for days while it looked at the problem from every angle and sought for solutions that just didn’t exist. As my mind hyperfocused on the problem and looked for solutions it resulted in those empty feelings.

Why Am I Just Now Realizing I Have ADHD?

Although ADHD is something that usually appears in early childhood, it’s not uncommon for adults to be diagnosed as well. Most people who are diagnosed as adults are diagnosed because they have a child who is diagnosed and they get tested along with the child—ADHD has a strong genetic component. I’m pretty convinced that my Dad also ADHD and that was a big factor in his restlessness (we lived in more than 20 houses and by the time I graduated high school), his interest in starting many projects (but finishing very few of them), and his alcoholism (as a means of self-medicating).

Many of us who grew up with ADHD (whether we knew we had it or not), develop a number of coping mechanisms. We know what is expected of us and we implement systems and behaviors to help us meet our day-to-day obligations. I also think that having a “normal” “job” where there is a definite schedule, expectations, and oversight is a mechanism that helps keep many of the ADHD symptoms from becoming obvious. So, the normal job becomes a coping mechanism in itself.

In November of 2006 I started a new job that allowed me to work from home most of the time. I could set my own hours and had a lot of autonomy about both what I did and when I did it. A big part of my job involves writing, which is a very difficult in itself. I believe it was the combination of lots of freedom, lack of direct supervision, and mentally intensive work, that brought my ADHD symptoms to light. In March of 2008 I wrote about I felt it was time for a new hobby. I had been feeling restless and bored for a while and I thought I just needed a new hobby or something to get me away from the computer. In retrospect, this was the beginning of my awareness that something wasn’t quite right—and that something was that I have ADHD.

So, What Am I Doing About It?

ADHD can’t be cured.; it can be treated though. There are two primary treatments: pharmaceuticals and coping mechanisms. Both my psychologist and I want to avoid drugs if at all possible—they always have other side effects. Over the years I’ve been really good at implementing various coping mechanisms to help me overcome my natural inclinations. Our hope is that I can continue to discover and implement new coping mechanisms.

I could write a lot more now about things I’ve been doing for years to help me cope with ADHD, as well as the new things that I’ve implemented since being diagnosed. I want to save those for other posts though.

Also, ADHD isn’t just a debilitating disorder. You may find it interesting that the very things that cause me the most trouble (a constant whirlwind of thoughts and the ability to hyperfocus) have both been very instrumental in my own success in life and business. I will probably be writing more posts about how my ADHD has helped me in life too. Another reason I don’t want to take ADHD medications is because I do have some fear they may cause me to lose those strengths that have given me an edge in business, ministry, and life.

Just like when I thought I was suffering from depression, God is continuing to use my journey and my diagnosis in my interactions with others. I certainly have more compassion on others with psychological disorders than I used to. I accept that this is the way God made me and I wouldn’t want it any other way. He knows exactly what He’s doing in my life and I try to see ADHD as another gift He can use. I expect I’ll be writing more about how ADHD is a gift God uses in my life–and the lives of other–too. In fact, the reason I wan’t to write more about ADHD here is so that I can help others by sharing what I learn along this journey.

So, stay tuned here to find out more about my ADHD experience. If you have specific questions or comments, feel free to post them below—I really do appreciate and enjoy the feedback and I respond to as many comments as I can.

Do you really enjoy the fall?

Do you really enjoy looking at the autumn leaves? (While they’re still in the trees, not while you’re raking them in your yard?)

A few weeks ago, my Sunday school teacher and I were talking briefly before class about how nice it is this time of year. In that conversation I said something that must have struck a chord with him. I said, “It’s amazing how beautiful death and decay can be.”

Last week he asked me if I could elaborate on that for the class for just a couple minutes. I told him I would and this is what I plan to share later this morning.

When I was growing up, and in early adulthood, I never really gave a lot of thought to the fall leaves. When I did think about them, I only saw death and decay—leaves died slowly and then returned to the earth.

I remember very clearly when I began to appreciate the fall foliage. It was in 1988, I was 21 and I had just started dating Sandy that spring. I was driving home way out in Trinity and all of a sudden the brilliance and beauty of the fall leaves just seemed to leap out before me—and I’ve loved looking at them ever since.

Let me ask you another question. Imagine that you were the one that had the opportunity to design the rules by which nature in our world operates, how many of you would have thought that killing off 90% of our foliage in a slow and grim way would have been a good idea? I doubt you would.

God told Isaiah:
8″For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.
9″For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

When God designed the way things would work in the fall, He knew that this terrible thing needed to happen in order for spring to also happen. If there was no Autumn, there could be no spring—no newness of life. I’m sure that if trees and leaves had feelings there would be no fun in this process for the leaf or for the tree that was shedding it’s leaves.

I believe that in this, there is a lesson for our lives.

We experience trials in our own lives. I imagine God looking over the landscape of believer’s lives and seeing the sickness, difficulty, persecution, death, and all of our other trials much as we see the dying and decaying leaves. I don’t believe that God gets some kind of perverse pleasure just from seeing his children in these situations though. He can see the bigger picture that we can’t see. He knows spring is coming. And He knows that in order for new life to spring forward in our lives, we must first experience Fall in our lives. And because of that, the trials in our lives can be beautiful things.

8″For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.
9″For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

I hope this will be encouraging to you in whatever you’re currently experiencing. Remember that God sees the bigger picture that we can’t see.