That afternoon, a good friend sent me an Instant Message inviting me to a concert.  I typed my reply, “I really wish I could, but I’ve got some work I absolutely have to get done tonight.” I was about to press the Enter key to send it when I had a thought, In five years will I remember that I worked late tonight?

I have no idea what inspired that question to pop into my mind, but in an instant I realized that in five years I would have absolutely no recollection of working that night or what I had accomplished. However, if I went to the concert, I would probably still remember it five years later; my friend would probably remember it too. Sure, there were some benefits to working late too.

I held down the backspace key and began typing again, “I would love to! Thanks for thinking of me!” We had a great time at the concert and just hanging out together. I’m so glad I went.

And the fallout from the work I didn’t have done wasn’t nearly as bad as I had originally imagined  in my mind. I still had time to do some of it, even though it wasn’t as polished as I originally wanted.

So, what opportunities do you have today? Which ones will you remember in five years? Which ones will you choose?

About twenty years ago I worked with my Dad installing fire sprinkler systems. One time we were doing an inspection in a very large manufacturing plant. The plant  had signs posted every fifty-feet or so throughout the plant that said, "Motivation is not an external pressure applied, but an internal force released." That phrase stuck in my mind and has been with me ever since.

If that statement is true, then how do I release that internal force of motivation?

Like a geyser, sometimes the pressure has to build up before it can be released. Once there is enough pressure, or a small puncture, it will be released. Until then, there is no evidence of motivation.

Sometimes I’ll build up pressure through procrastination. This is a bad way to build the pressure. I wait until something absolutely has to be done and I’m experiencing the pressure of a looming deadline; that releases my motivation.

Sometimes I’ll build up pressure by starting something small. If I have a report to write, I might begin by telling myself, I don’t have to write the report, but I’m just going to open Word. Maybe I’ll save a blank document with the filename of the report. Then before I know it I’m writing the report. The idea is to find the smallest activity I have the energy to do; once I get started, the rest of my motivation can then be released. This is like sticking a pin in a water balloon to get my motivation flowing, then, as it flows, the pinhole gets larger and I have more motivation flowing out.

Sometimes I need to build resolve by doing something totally unrelated to what I need to do. Resolve can be related to motivation, but it’s not exactly the same thing. Resolve means, “to come to a definite or earnest decision about. To build resolve, I sometimes use a technique I call the First This Then That Principle. I then use the resolve to release motivation.

There are three very simple steps to apply the First This Then That Principle:

1. Make a statement about what you are going to do. This is the action that you are resisting. The more specific the statement is, the better it is. It could be something like, “I’m going to work on my income tax returns” or “I’m going to write the report”. Those are both OK, but if you can make it a small definite action (like I mentioned in the “Start something small” section above) it would be even better. Consider something like, “I’m going to gather the necessary income tax forms” or “I’m going to locate the statistics for the report.” This is the “That” part of the equation.
2. Do something you aren’t resisting. While you’re doing it, periodically remind yourself what you’re going to do as soon as you finish. This action could be something like walking around the block, driving to the coffee shop, taking a nap, reading a chapter in a book, watching a television show, or just about anything you aren’t resisting. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a productive task. A 10- to 20-minute activity usually works well for me. If the action is too brief, like a quick trip to the bathroom or getting a cup of coffee, you may not have enough time to build much resolve. If the action is too long, like going to the movies or walking for an hour, you may use too much energy on the activity and not have the energy you need for the activity you need to do. This action is the “First This” part of the equation.
3. As soon as you finish the first activity, immediately start what you originally planned to do. Make the transition immediately. If you need to work on your taxes, and you chose to walk around the block first, then as soon as you walk back into the house, sit down at your desk and start gathering the tax forms. If you need to write the report, and you chose to watch a video first, then as soon as the credits roll, go to  your computer and start locating the statistics for the report. It’s very important that you do this action immediately. Don’t check email first, don’t check Twitter, don’t go the bathroom, don’t get a cup of coffee. When the first activity is done IMMEDIATELY start the next activity. The momentum will mix with your resolve to release your motivation. This immediate transition becomes the “Then” part of the equation.

So, give the First This Then That Principle a try the next time you have difficulty motivating yourself to do something. If it works for you, let me know in the comments. If it doesn’t, let me know that too. As always, I welcome any other questions and comments you may have too.

Now, I need to document the steps in a SharePoint Administrator Training lab project; first I’m going to take a walk and then I’m going to log into my virtual machine.

However, I do set goals for things I would like to achieve over the course of the year. In recent years, I’ve fallen short of several of my goals in several areas. I’ve met some of my goals, but I haven’t done nearly as well as I would have liked.

My Weekly Goals

Usually I’ll set a goal for things like a certain weight I would like to achieve or certain projects I would like to finish or other similar things. Since my diagnosis with Adult ADD (Attenion Defecit Disorder), I’ve been thinking about things in terms of the amount of attention I give them. This has led to a change in my goals for 2012 and how I track those goals.

I’ve given myself a set amount of attention I would like to apply to in certain areas on a weekly basis. Here are those areas:

• Work 5-hours on Mindful Worship
• Work 5-hours on Spears Technologies
• Work 5-hours on my college studies at West Coast Bible College
• Create something worth sharing
• Hike for 3-hours
• Eat high-protein/low-carbohydrate for 5-days
• Interact socially for 3-hours
• Encourage others 10-times

There are other areas of my life I want to work on, but these are the areas I’ve fallen short in the most over the past year and want to work on this year. I’ll probably add more areas later on, especially as I find better ways to quantify the amount of attention I invest in the area.

Why Have I Chosen A Weekly Break-Down of Attention Invested?

I’ve wanted to bring my goals down to an area where I feel like I have more control and I can invest more energy and attention. For example, you’ll notice that two of my goals are related to health and fitness (hike for 3-hours and eat high-protein/low-carbohydrate for 5-days). Ultimately, the results of this will be reflected in a decrease in my weight. However, if I set a goal to decrease my weight by a certain number of pounds, it’s easy to get discouraged if I do well and don’t see the decrease in weight (or as rapid a decrease as I would like). However, by doing these two things consistently on a weekly basis, I know I’m moving toward an over-arching goal of improved health and fitness.

Last year I set a goal to publish 25 new Mindful Worship meditations; I only published one and that was way back in January. I also set a goal to write a book in the area of Christian meditation and I didn’t do any work on it at all. Both of these things are too big for me to get my around fully and although I know they are achievable, they seem too big and it’s easy to get discouraged and sidetracked.

I’m Tracking My Goals with Grades

Each of these goals is an ideal. I realize that I’m not going to meet each of these goals every week—it’s just not possible. So, I’ve decided to give myself a letter grade in each area. Here is how those letter grades are calculated:

• Work 5-hours on Mindful Worship
  Grades: 5=A; 4=B; 3=C; 2=C; 1=D; <1=F
  
• Work 5-hours on Spears Technologies
  Grades: 5=A; 4=B; 3=C; 2=C; 1=D; <1=F
  
• Work 5-hours on my college studies at West Coast Bible College
  Grades: 5=A; 4=B; 3=C; 2=C; 1=D; <1=F
• Create something worth sharing
  Grades: Yes=A; No=F
• Hike for 3-hours
  3=A; 2=B; 1=C; .5=D; <.5=F
• Eat high-protein/low-carbohydrate for 5-days
  5=A; 4=B; 3=C; 2=C; 1=D; <1=F
• Interact socially for 3-hours
  3=A; 2=B; 1=C; .5=D; <.5=F
• Encourage others 10-times
  9-10=A; 7-8=B; 5-6=C; 3-4=C; 1-2=D; <1=F

Most weeks, I should be able to reach a satisfactory “C” level in most of these areas. In fact, I should be able to reach excellent “A” or great “B” grade in most of them. Some weeks I will find that I need improvement “D” or totally fail “F” in an area, and that’s OK and to be expected. No one is perfect. However, by investing a small amount of attention in each of these areas each week, I know that I’ll be moving in the direction I want to move in regarding these areas of my life. A lower grade just means I’m not moving as quickly as I would like while a higher grade means I’m moving along at a good clip.

The other nice thing about weekly grades is that I start with a fresh slate each week. I may get a “D” or “F” in an area one week and then get two or three “A”s in following weeks. By starting each new week with a clean slate, I’m motivated to do some work in that area the next week.

At this point, I do plan to calculate monthly and quarterly summaries.

Questions and Comments

I’ve read dozens of books on motivation, organization, and goal setting. I don’t recall reading about anyone else setting and tracking goals exactly this way, so you may have some questions. If you do, please ask them below. You may have questions about how I chose a particular goal or the details behind one. Ask that below too. You may have ideas for how to expand on this idea; if you do, please share those below for others’ benefit.

The Liberation of an Adult ADHD Diagnosis

Let me begin by saying that there is something very liberating about my diagnosis. I don’t see my ADHD as a disability in any way—in fact, just like with Steve Jobs, Ted Turner, Bill Gates, and Albert Einstein, I feel it has been a strength and a contributing factor in my success up to this point. However, there are challenges and difficulties. One of those challenges is that it’s difficult (and sometimes impossible) to stay mentally focused and engaged on tasks that we don’t find interesting.

Imagine that you were wrestling with The Invisible Man. He has you pinned to the floor and no matter how hard you try to get up, you can’t; there is this unseen resistance that you can’t overcome. You feel paralyzed for no reasons and just feel like if you tried harder you get up. You’ve never heard of The Invisible Man before, you can’t see him, he’s bigger and stronger than you are, and he’s got you pinned to the floor. Then suddenly, someone (probably your clinical psychologist or psychiatrist) throws a bucket of paint on the two of you. All of a sudden, you realize you aren’t paralyzed after all—you just have a big man on top of you holding you down. Now you can see your challenger! After he has been identified, you are then on a level playing field where you can meet his challenges.

This is what my ADHD diagnosis was like for me. Now that I can see my challenger, I can find ways to overcome those challenges. To those without ADHD, these may seem like small insignificant challenges. That’s OK. You’re wrestling with The Invisible Man. But those who are need some strategies and techniques in order to win the fight. This article is one such strategy that I’ve stumbled upon that helps me tremendously.

Progress Bars – What Are They?

You’ve seen progress bars when your computer was performing some kind of processing. There is usually a graphical bar and sometimes they will display a percentage complete. Sometimes they will even display the number of items to be processed and indicate the current process that is in progress. I don’t remember, but I think I got the idea in this post from this latter kind of progress bar. I’ve been using it for several months now and it’s really helped me. There area few ways I implement the method, and I’ll try to share as many of them here as I can.

Counting down – How I Power Through Email

When I process my email inbox, my goal is to process everything there and for my inbox to be empty. This is what David Allen calls Zero Base and what Merlin Mann calls Inbox Zero. When I start processing my email inbox, I grab a scratch pad of paper and write down the number of emails that are currently in my inbox. Then periodically as I process them I will scratch through the number and write down the new number. For some reason, this helps me to see the goal as getting closer and helps me to maintain my focus on the task.

I have several email addresses, all for different purposes. Most of them are combined into one email inbox, but some of them have to remain distinct and separate. In my main email account I also have lots of things that automatically got a label named “ads’ that I only process once every week or two. I write each one of these down as a separate column as I’m processing each one. Here is a picture of my scratch pad after processing three email accounts.

You’ll notice that I will often process several emails before scratching through a number and writing down a new one. At other times, I’ll only process one email before I scratch through and write down a new one. Essentially, I do this each time I feel I need a boost to my focus. Writing down the new number brings my mind back on task to process the next email.

Marking-off Numbered Tasks – How I Power Through Reading Books

For as long as I can remember, whenever I was reading a book, I would always make a note of the last page of the chapter I was reading at the time. This gave me a short-term goal to work toward and I felt really good when I finished each chapter.

Right now I’m reading a book for school that is very challenging to stay focused on. To take this book one chapter at a time is too big of a chunk for me. However, to take it one page at a time is about right.  So, before I read a chapter, I write down the page numbers for that chapter on a piece of scrap note paper. Then as I read each page (or sometimes after reading a few pages) I will mark through the page number(s) I’ve just read. If I’m tempted to stop reading, I can usually talk myself into reading, “just one more page,” so I can mark of just one more number.

Here is a picture of a couple pieces of my scratch pad. The first one shows all the pages marked through after reading Chapter 10 and the second one shows the pages I need to read before I go to bed tonight.

Journal What I’m Doing as I’m Doing It – How I Power Through Complex Projects

I love to document things. This has been a very helpful tool in writing courseware for the SharePoint Training classes I write and teach. As I’m working through a project I will often document my progress to help me stay on task. As I perform different tasks, I make notes about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and sometimes little conversations about how I’m feeling at the time. This documentation is not only encouraging, but also useful for troubleshooting. I recently had another consultant take over for me on a job I had been working on. I gave him all my notes about what I had already done so he easily knew the landscape of the project. I usually take these notes in Evernote. Here is a screenshot of part of one of those notes:

Chat Style Documenting of What I’m Doing as I’m Doing It – How I Power Through Boring Tasks

Sometimes a boring task doesn’t really lend itself the kind of detailed documentation I’ve indicated above and it doesn’t include numbered or counted items like in the previous two examples. I need something in between; I need something like Twitter or Instant Message. Sometimes I’ll Instant Message a coworker what I’m doing at the time, and update this each time I switch to a new task.

Here is an actual chat session I sent to one of my coworkers. Notice that I was providing updates as though he were watching a server automatically perform the tasks.

I also have a simple chat client installed on my own web server and I’ll use that to do this sort of thing as well. Here is an excerpt from when I was packaging some hardware and handling some emails. Notice that once again it has that computer-like tone of: I’m starting… I’m doing… … completed.

This could be accomplished using a Twitter account as well.

Amateur Cartography – How I’m Motivating Myself to Exercise

One of my favorite ways to get my body moving is walking. However, I find walking around my neighborhood very boring. I do like to be out in the woods though. I’ve been using the GPS on my phone to map some trails. I’ve also been taking other notes about the trails, and I’m gathering quite a bit of information about them. I’m not exactly sure how I’ll use it, but at the end of a hike I feel like I have something to show for it. I can look at my data and see that I have created something of value. One of the reasons I’ve never liked to exercise is because I don’t feel like I have something tangible to show for it; now I do.

Conclusion

So, there you have it… five ways I document my progress. These simple tools help me stay focused on the task at hand until it’s done. There are many variations you could take on these five methods too. Hopefully you’ll share your own ideas and tweaks in the comments.

Over the years I’ve attempted to form exercise habits in spite of my distaste for it. I’ve employed a number of psychological tricks over the years to aid in forming a physical fitness regimen. It has never lasted, however. You may even recall my experiment a few years ago where I set out to walk at least 45-minutes a day for 40-days in a row through the use of a Paper Clip Chain. That worked for about 42 days. I never got to the point where it was a habit or where I really wanted to do it. I’ve tried several other similar things over the years and nothing has ever stood the test of time.

A number of things have conspired to inspire me to add regular physical activity to my life. I normally don’t get a lot of physical activity during my day. I sit at a desk and work on a computer most of the day and I haven’t had any strong desire to be more physically active.

I recently read The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working: The Four Forgotten Needs That Energize Great Performance by Tony Schwartz, and one of the thing he talks about in that book about how our bodies affect our overall work. The book is about brining balance in to all areas of our lives for maximum energy, engagement, and productivity. It’s certainly not a book on health, diet, and exercise, but there are a couple chapters related to this. In chapter 7 he writes, “Experts say we need twenty to forty-five minutes of exercise three to six days a week…” After reading that, it has been in the back of my mind as something I needed to start doing again.

I’ve also shared about how I’ve been dealing with depression in my life. As I’ve talked with others, some have indicated that regular exercise also plays a role in regulating the chemicals in the brain that are related to depression. Some have shared that they can really tell a difference if they don’t work out for a few days. So, I thought that exercising might help me as well.

Along with depression, the medicine that I’m on has a known side effect of weight gain. In fact, I gained 3 pounds the first two weeks that I was on it, and I made a strong effort to eat less because I knew this was a likelihood. I’m already quite over weight and I don’t need anything else to add to it.

So, I’m trying something new now, and it is working so far. A couple weeks ago I decided to go for a 1-mile walk around my neighborhood right after I got up in the morning. I didn’t enjoy it, but it did seem to make me feel better throughout the day. The next morning I changed the route a little bit to a 1.2-mile route that took me about 24-minutes. This was a more challenging route that takes me over steep rolling hills which provides some nice intervals during the time I’m walking. This is the route I’m doing now.

I’ve decided that I’m only going to do this on regular work days (typically Monday through Friday) and not on weekends, holidays, or when weather doesn’t permit. And I’ve decided that I’m not going to feel guilty on those days that I don’t go. There is a good chance that I’ll get more physical activity during the regular course of the day when I’m not working as well.

Another thing that has changed this time is that I’m not doing this to lose weight. I certainly would like to lose weight, and I hope this will help, but weight loss isn’t my goal; I also don’t consider my walks to be a tool for weight loss.

So far, these three things have helped to solve a couple problems with my past experiences. First, in the past I’ve made my walks to be at least 45-minutes to 1-hour; that’s a long time! By cutting that in half to 20- to 25-minutes, it’s much more agreeable. Second, in the past I’ve made it an everyday event with no room for exception. By making it a workday only thing, I can look forward to breaks on weekends and holidays. Third, by eliminating the goal of weight loss I’m not looking for results that I may not see every day.

More than anything, I’m doing this because I seem to feel better because of it. Last Friday I slept later than usual and thought that I would just skip my walk. I felt drawn to go ahead and walk anyway, so I just went later than usual. I don’t know how to describe the feeling exactly, but it is kind of like that feeling where you know you need a shower or need to brush your teeth–you just feel icky if you haven’t done it. I feel physically icky when I don’t walk on the days I should now.

A word to my critics: You may be thinking that 20- to 25-minutes walking isn’t enough exercise. That’s OK. What I’m doing is certainly better than nothing. You might even say that it walking isn’t challenging enough. The route I take is over rolling hills which provides some extra resistance. Also, if you know me in person, you recognize that I weigh nearly twice what the charts say I should. So, I’m moving a lot of extra weight on that walk as well. If you can imagine walking this distance over rolling hills while carrying someone on your back who weighs about the same as you do, you can get idea for what my walk is like. It’s a pretty good work out in my opinion.

So, why am I sharing this? I know how difficult it has been for me to add physical activity to my life over the years. I’m hoping that by sharing what is currently working for me that others will be encouraged as well. Perhaps something similar will work for you as well. Also, by sharing this publicly, it provides a certain amount of accountability–which is always a great motivator. If I’ve inspired you to try something like this too, let me know in the comments! Happy walking!

My History in the Boy Scouts of America and Activity in the Merit Badge Program

I was very involved in the Boy Scouts of America program from 7th grade through 12th grade (12 to 18 years old). The path to Eagle Scout played a major role in shaping me and preparing me for my future.

One of the things I liked most about scouting was the merit badge program. I think there were 105 available merit badges at the time. I earned 25 merit badges in all including 11 that were required for Eagle. To illustrate the broad range of areas in which merit badges are available, my merit badge sash included badges for: Basketry; Model Design and Building; Firemanship; Rowing; First Aid; Camping; Fishing; Scholarship; Emergency Preparedness; Communications; and Citizenship in the Community, Nation, and World. I believe this broad scope of learning opportunities helped me to develop an interest in all sorts of learning and made me a very well-rounded person by the time I turned 18 years old.

How Does the Boy Scout Merit Badge Program Work?

There are seven ranks in Boy Scouts: Scout, Tenderfoot, Second Class, First Class, Star, Life, and Eagle. Although any scout may earn any merit badges he wants at any time, a certain number of merit badges are required for the Star, Life, and Eagle awards. This provides motivation to earn them.

Each merit badge has a set of requirements. The requirements for each badge vary greatly but are designed to allow the scout to develop and demonstrate at least a general working knowledge in the area. Merit badges are by no means an indication that the scout is an expert in the area, but rather that he has done enough research and application to have an understanding or working knowledge in the area. For a complete list of merit badges and requirements, visit MeritBadge.org.

Once a scout decides he wants to earn a badge in a particular area he would tell his Scoutmaster. The Scoutmaster would then help the scout find a qualified person to serve as a Merit Badge Counselor to help the scout with achieving the requirements for the award. While the scout would do much of the research and work on his own, he still had to meet with the counselor to demonstrate his knowledge and skill.

After the scout completed the requirements to the satisfaction of his counselor, the merit badge would be presented at a Court of Honor–a ceremony to honro scouting achievements. The scout would then add the badge to his merit badge sash–part of his uniform that showed off his accomplishments to his fellow scouts.

Merit Badges Get Replaced in Adult Life

After scouting, there really isn’t a close replacement for merit badges. Sure, we can: read books; take classes; attend seminars; join organizations; earn certifications, licenses, and degrees; and learn as we generally experience life. However, there is nothing for adults that comes close to the fun, excitement, and stress-free opportunity available in the Boy Scout merit badge program.

What I’d Like to See In An Adult Merit Badge Program

• Available Badges – While the Boy Scout program currently only offers 121 different merit badges, I think there could be an unlimited number of merit badges in an Adult program. Here are a few ideas just off the top of my head: Cooking, Barbecuing, Lawncare, Automotive Maintenance, Microsoft Word, Coin Collecting, Podcasting, GTD–Getting Things Done, Online Marketing, Travel, Guitar Playing, Dog Ownership, Astronomy, Local Politics, Cake Decorating, Blogging, Personal Finance, Child Rearing, etc…
• The Requirements – Just as in the Boy Scouts, the requirements shouldn’t be designed to make someone an expert, but rather to ensure that the learner has a good working knowledge in the area. I believe that almost anyone who is an expert in a particular area will likely be quite capable of writing requirements. There should be some sort of review process, possibly by other experts in the field, to insure that there is some consensus that the requirements meet the working-knowledge objective and are also written in a consistent manner and style. The requirements also need to be reviewed regularly to ensure that they keep up with current technologies and social trends.
• Counselors – Unless things have changed in the last 25 years, there are no set requirements for merit badge counselors. When I earned my Computers merit badge, my Algebra teacher was my counselor. When I earned my Leatherwork merit badge, a fellow scout with leatherworking knowledge was my counselor. For many of them, I simply presented my work and demonstrated my skill to one of my scout leaders. I think that in an Adult Merit Badge program, adults should be able to seek out a counselor they feel will be able to properly assist them and answer their questions.
• The Award – The adult merit badge counselor would indicate that a particular candidate had completed all the necessary requirements for a particular award. The learner would receive some sort of certificate or other token to indicate he or she had completed the requirements. Perhaps even an icon or logo that could be put on their own web site.

How Would an Adult Merit Badge Program Be Managed and Administered?

Perhaps the reason nothing like this has been done before is because there is no system to manage and administer such a program. The Boy Scouts of America has a massive network of hundreds of thousands of volunteers to administer the program on a one-on-one level. While many people will serve in this capacity to prepare young people for their future, I’m doubtful that many adults would be likely to volunteer their time to make a similar program successful for other adults.

In this day of technology and the Internet, it might not be a huge task to create a web-based program through which it could be managed and administered. It could be a social networking type of site similar to LinkedIn, FaceBook, and MySpace. Each participant would have their own personal page to display their awards, locate others with similar interests, and to generally form community around their demonstrated skills and knowledge.

Talk with Me People!

So, what do you think? Do you think Merit Badges for Adults would be a good idea? What ideas do you have to execute the idea? How would you see something like this affecting your life? Let me know in the comments!

I joined Toastmasters to improve my public speaking skills, and I’ve really learned a lot. To earn this award, I gave 10 different speeches. I could choose my own topics and wrote my own speeches, but each speech had a different goal such as helping me to organize my speeches, include vocal variety, use body language, utilize visual aids, and inspire my audience. I’ve been speaking in some capacity for years, but these exercises have taken my speaking to a whole new level.

I’ve really enjoyed working with all the other club members too. In fact, since I work from home most of the time, the club members kind of fill the social role in my life that my co-workers used to when I went into the office every day.

My next goal is the Advanced Communicator Bronze award. For this award, I got to choose two manuals from the Advanced Communicator series of manuals. Each of these manuals has five speeches for me to complete. The manuals I chose are Technical Presentations and Interpretive Reading. I chose Technical Presentations because I’m a computer instructor and I’m giving technical presentations all the time, so I think these skills will help me on my job. I chose the Interpretive Reading manual just because it seemed like fun; it’s also something none of my fellow Toastmasters have done yet and I hope it will provide some extra variety for our members as they listen to my speeches from that manual.

If you are looking for a great way to improve your public speaking or leadership skills, I can highly recommend Toastmasters.  If you live in the Thomasville, NC area and are available for an hour at noon-time every Monday, I’d like to invite you to our Toastmasters Club in Thomasville. We meet for one hour every Monday at noon at the Thomasville Public Library. Just email me or leave a comment if you need more information.

I usually endeavor to choose my words very carefully and mean exactly what I say—nothing more and nothing less. If I congratulate a coworker on a promotion and tell them they deserve it then they know that I really think they deserve it. If I criticize an idea then I’m criticizing the idea, not the person that presented the idea. I’m not perfect with this, but I think that I generally do a good job with it.

Along with this, I realized that I use some words and phrases because they convey something other than what I really think and feel inside. I wanted to remove these phrases from my vocabulary:

I’ll Try to: This is perhaps one of the most meaningless phrases in the English language. I like the way Yoda said it in Return of the Jedi, “Do, or do not. There is no try.” Often, someone will ask us to attend an activity that we don’t want to attend so we say, “I’ll try to make it.” We say, “I’m trying to lose weight.” We say, “I’m trying to do better.” Usually, the truth is that we aren’t really trying–at least, we aren’t trying to succeed in the areas we say we are trying, but rather we are trying to fail. If we were to be honest, we would more often say, “I’ll fail to make it”,”I’m failing to lose weight”, and “I’m failing to do better.”

Jesus taught us to, “Let your Yay be Yay and your nay be nay.” But because we are afraid of commitment we use loose and indecisive phrase like, “I’ll try”. At best, we should instead say, “I might” which gives no impression of commitment at all. If we don’t intend to do the activity at all, even “I might” is an outright lie and should be avoided. In the Bible Belt we often say, “Lord willing” as our cop out. Just because we don’t do something that we said we would do doesn’t mean that it wasn’t the Lord’s will–we shouldn’t blame our lack of integrity on Him.

We usually use this phrase to avoid making someone else feel bad, but ultimately we damage our own integrity in that other person’s eyes. We don’t want to fail in their eyes. We’re afraid to fail because we don’t understand what failure is or what failure means. We learn from failure. It’s a positive thing. Somewhere along the line failure has developed a negative connotation and we’ve become afraid of it. We fear what people will think if we say we are going to do something and then don’t reach our goal, so we use “try” as a wishy washy way to get out of it.

I’m Busy: What does this mean? Isn’t every one I know “busy”? The drunk on the bar stool is “busy” getting drunk; a housewife says she is “busy” watching television. Why do I think that anyone else cares that I’ve been busy. If someone asks me how I’ve been, wouldn’t it be better to say, “I’ve been doing …”? If someone asks me to do something and my initial response would be to say, “I’m too busy”, wouldn’t it be better to let the other person know what is more important to me than their request? This leads me to my next phrase.

I Don’t Have Time: Comedian Steven Wright used to say that “Everything is walking distance if you’ve got the time.” Saying that we don’t have time is just a socially acceptable way of telling people that their needs are not a priority for us. If someone asks me to fix their computer it’s a lie for me to tell them that I don’t have time. I have 168 hours a week that I could devote entirely to fixing their computer. The truth is that fixing their computer just isn’t a priority for me.

I have worked especially hard on eliminating this phrase over the past two years, and to my amazement, people seem to greatly appreciate it. When I was asked to serve as an officer in my Toastmasters chapter, I told them that other things in my life were a higher priority right now, and therefore I couldn’t give the position the focus and attention it deserved. When people ask me to fix their computer I explain that while I may handle my own computer issues, it’s not my area of expertise. Then I refer them to someone else who can do a better job in less time. If they are just trying to get a “freebie” this also lets them know that I realize they feel their money is more valuable than my time.

Tomorrow: I tend to think that our minds don’t really know what we mean when we say tomorrow. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Tomorrow never comes.” I think that when we tell ourselves, “I will get start the xyz project tomorrow” that our brains take that literally. When the next day comes, our brain still thinks, “I will start the xyz project tomorrow.” It is much better for us to say a definite day or even day and time when we postpone an action; for example, “I will start the xyz project first thing Wednesday morning.” Friday evening we may say, “I’ll clean out the garage Saturday morning.” When Saturday morning comes, we may consciously choose to renegotiate this agreement with ourselves, however, if we say, “Tomorrow I’ll clean out the garage, we can always tell ourselves, “I said tomorrow, not today.”

Spend Time: Time isn’t spent. it can be shared. It can be wasted. It is always invested. We don’t spend time watching television, we invest time watching television or waste time watching television. When I talk about doing things with my wife I always say “I’m sharing time with my wife”–to say that I’m “spending” time with her implies to me that I’m giving something away that I can’t get back. All investments provide a return—either positive or negative. What kind of return am I getting on the investment of my time, right now, as I write this article? What kind of return have you received on the time you’ve invested reading it?

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No. It’s actually Day 31. The truth is that I fell off the wagon back on what would have been Day 24 and Day 25.

On Sunday, August 12th, I taught Sunday School at church, so I decided to polish my lesson that morning instead of walking. I knew that I could make it up later in the day. During the afternoon, temperatures were near 100 degrees, so I decided to wait until it cooled off in the evening. Our dog had been having stomach problems for a few days and by Sunday evening she was dehydrated and unable to keep water down. We had to take her to the Veterinarian Emergency Clinic about 8:30pm, and we didn’t get back until nearly midnight. I had missed my chance to walk during that day.

On Monday, I had my own little pity party over not making my 40-days-in-a-row goal, so I didn’t walk then either. 

On Tuesday, I decided that none of that really mattered very much anyway, so I started walking again. I stressed a little bit over whether I should start back over at Day-1 or not. Over the next few days, I realized that it was no longer about reaching the 40-days-in-a-row goal; it was just about forming the habit, and after 21 days, the habit had been formed. I could break the habit if I chose to, but that would be my choice. I think the 2-day break was a positive thing because it gave me an opportunity to prove to myself that I had really formed the habit.

While walking yesterday morning, I got another great revelation. I don’t have to improve at exercising. Exercise doesn’t have to be challenging or competitive. But I do need to it regularly, and there is benefit in doing so.

When I first started this experiment, I felt that I needed to increase my walking speed, or continually push myself to walk further and to walk more strenuous routes. In retrospect, that was a ridiculous thought. Here is my current perspective. If someone didn’t bathe daily, and wanted to build the habit of showering every day, they wouldn’t likely try to scrub a little harder every day, or try to spend a little longer under the water each day. They would simply bathe at whatever level fit their perception of good hygiene and be done with it. If someone wanted to develop the habit of getting their email inbox to zero every day, they wouldn’t try to get more email so they could process more, nor would they be likely to race against the clock to see if they could get to zero faster than the day before. They would probably be content to just get to zero every day and form the habit, and the associated comfort level, of having an empty inbox.

So, where did I get this warped idea that I had to continually improve at exercise? I was meditating on this during my walk this evening, and the best I can tell, it was taught to me in Physical Education class during my 12-years of school. We weren’t taught to just be active, nor were we taught the benefits of being active at a moderate level. We were taught that to compete against each other, and ourselves, to continually improve. We were taught that by the end of the semester we needed to be able to run faster, or do more push ups, or make more goals than we could at the beginning of the semester.

I was academically aggressive, but I was physically challenged. Physical fitness wasn’t one of my strengths–pardon the pun. It was no problem for me to be able to read a higher level, or do more complex math at the end of a semester, but it was a real challenge for me to do better physically. And it was a challenge that I didn’t like. My poor marks in this area reinforced that.

Schools offered math and English classes for students that had various strengths or weaknesses in those areas, but physical education classes were for everyone. The starting quarterback for the football team, and the kid that was 50-pounds over weight and 6 inches under tall, were likely to be in the same P.E. class. The quarterback learned to continue excelling in his strengths, and the over-weight kid learned that he wasn’t cut out for sports and exercise.

If a student was poor at math, he was placed in a class where he could continue to use math, but at a lower level. If a student was poor at reading, she was placed in a class where she could continue to read, but at a lower level. I believe this may have caused many of those students to continue using the math or reading skills they did have, long after they left school. Students that were poor at physical fitness, on the other hand, were never taught the benefits of continuing to do some physical activity every day, even if it wasn’t at a high level. We were never taught that it was OK to walk for 45-minutes every day. In fact, if we walked around the track when we were told to run, we were scolded and ridiculed by both the teacher and our peers.

There is some challenge to my daily walks, but mostly it’s a matter of just getting started each day. Even if I never get any faster, or make my routine more challenging, yet I walk at least 3 miles every day, I will have walked over 1,000 miles at the end of a year, and probably burned an extra 200,000 calories. That’s no small accomplishment!

If someone didn’t read well, but read 5 pages in a book each day, she would read over 1,800 pages in a year, or probably about 6 or 7 books a year. According to one survey, 58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school, and 42% of college graduates never read another book. Even at a very moderate pace, a poor reader can reap major benefits by reading a small amount each day.

It’s very liberating after all these years to finally realize why I’ve always hated to exercise. Now that I have come to terms with my own weaknesses in that area, I don’t have to compare myself to others, yet I can still reap some benefits of daily exercise. Some people may be fine running for an hour a day, or lifting weights, or playing basketball. I don’t have to measure up to that. I’ve found an activity that works well for me. I’ve joined the ranks of people that exercise daily, even though I’m no athlete. Little by little, over time, I’ll even do more than many people who consider themselves to be athletic. I have the habit of walking every day, and it feels great!