When I recently posted about 8 Random Facts about Ricky Spears, several of you wanted to know more about how I met my wife in a car accident. Well, here’s the scoop…

The day was Wednesday, March 9th, 1988. I had just left work and was headed to a friend’s house. Pastor Greg Laurie was teaching on the radio. It was raining, but not enough to be distracting. I was headed north on Brentwood Street in High Point North Carolina, approaching the intersection of Nathan Hunt Drive. A little gray Honda Civic was in the intersection, waiting to turn left onto Nathan Hunt Drive.

I hit my brakes to stop and nothing happened. I gripped the steering wheel tighter, probably some reflex from years of bicycle riding and using handlebar mounted brake levers–that obviously had no effect. The “God Loves You” bumper sticker on back of the Gray Civic was getting bigger. Traffic was coming towards me to my left, and there was a deep ditch to the right, so I couldn’t move to the side. I hit my brakes again, and nothing seemed to change.

Finally, the “God Loves You” bumper sticker was obscured by the hood of my own car. Just like Newton’s Cradle had taught me, my car stopped suddenly, and the gray Civic was pushed out further into the intersection. I could see the “God Loves You” bumper sticker, but it was now angled more towards the ground, and the entire bumper was severely bent and damaged.

This was my first accident, and I wasn’t quite sure what I should do. I waited for a moment and then figured that I ought to get out of my car and see if the driver of the car I had just hit was OK. I walked up to the driver’s side window. The attractive young lady rolled down her window. The lady looked like the woman that filled up the vending machines at work, and for a brief instant, I thought, Oh no! Now I’ll never get Reese’s Pieces back in the snack machine!

She said she was OK. One of the cars passing by had a car phone (this was 1988, before cell phones were very common), and had told the lady that he would call the police. I returned to my car to await their arrival. On my way, I noticed that the entire front of my 1986 Ford Escort GT had been totally destroyed. Pieces of it were everywhere. It seemed like no time at all and the officer had us both pull into a nearby parking lot so traffic could flow again.

Since it was raining, officer Ramseur had us both sit in the back seat of his patrol car while he investigated the scene, wrote up his report, and my traffic citation. This gave me a little time to get to know the lovely lady I had just hit. Romance wasn’t very high on my list of priorities at the moment, but it wasn’t very often that I got to sit with a woman in the back seat of any car. She introduced herself as Sandra Barnett, and I told her that my name was Ricky Spears. She could tell I was nervous, probably about not only the accident and what was going to happen, but also the fact that I was in a back seat with a beautiful woman. She patted my leg with her hand and told me. “Everything is going to be alright.” She was very comforting.

I told her that I noticed her “God Loves You” bumper sticker and asked her where she went to church. As it turned out, we both attended churches that were very close to each other. We shared about our Christian faith, and generally got to know each other.

Officer Ramseur had us both write down our names, addresses, where we worked, insurance information, phone numbers, and such for each other. Yes! I now had the woman’s phone number! Woo hoo!

I received a citation for “Exceeding a safe speed; at a speed greater than was reasonable and prudent under the conditions then existing to wit (rain) G.S. 120-141(a).” The officer told me that the charges for the ticket would be dropped as long as my insurance company paid to repair her 1978 Honda Civic, which he had written as a total loss.

My car was still drivable, but just barely. We went our separate ways–I went home to stress out over my car insurance, and lovely young lady went to Wrestlemania with her folks. My Dad feared that she would get to jumping and hollering at the wrestling, snap her neck, and then blame it on the accident. Thankfully, nothing like that happened, and Sandy wasn’t that kind of person.

For several weeks, I thought about this wonderful Christian woman that was so comforting. My court date was approaching and I needed to find out if my insurance company had fixed her car, so one Monday evening I called her. I really wanted to ask her out on a date, or at least talk some more, but my tongue just wouldn’t cooperate. I think the conversation went something like this:

“Hello, this is Ricky Spears. I’m the guy that rear-ended you a few weeks ago. I just wanted to see if my insurance company had fixed your car.”

“Oh, hi. Yes, they’ve taken care of it.”

“Good. I’m glad. Because, I just wanted to make sure they had taken care of it.”

“Yes, they have.”

“That’s good. I just wanted to make sure.”

I was trying to find the words to start a conversation, but nothing was coming out except variations of the same opening line I had practiced. Finally, Sandra asked me, “I would like to invite you and your wife to church with me.” “Oh,” I told her, “I’m not married.” “Oh, really?” she inquired. As it turned out, she had been thinking about me all those weeks as well. To make a long story short, we talked on the phone for two hours that night and planned to go out to a Sandy Patty concert the upcoming Friday night. She even agreed to let me drive.

When Friday came, I had to work late, and we didn’t make the concert. We still went out, but it was a total disaster. We went out several more times and I think we both eventually determined that the relationship wasn’t working out. She officially broke up with me though, so I was crushed, even though I had thought about breaking up with her. I was the victim and I was determined to feel all those associated emotions.

We had agreed to still be friends and I called her the next two nights, because, after all, she was still a friend. When I called her on Sunday night, she told me, “How are you ever going to find Mrs. Right if you’re on the phone with Mrs. Wrong.” I told her, “I’m not looking for Mrs. Right. I’m looking for Mrs. Spears.” I thought it was funny. She hung up the phone.

We didn’t talk for a couple weeks and then she had a date with another guy, and I had a date with another girl. When I got home, I had a message on my answering machine from Sandy. The guy she went out with had brought her back home, and while he was in the living room talking with her parents, Sandy was in her room, calling me. She realized that she really did miss me and wanted us to get back together.

We decided to go out just as friends at first, to make sure this was right. That didn’t last for long though. We were meant to be together. It’s now been nearly 20 years since that fateful evening in March, and we’re still together. We got married June 10th, 1989, so we recently celebrated 18 years of marriage. She is now even more beautiful than she was then, even more comforting than she was then, and I can’t begin to imagine what life might have been without her.

I wouldn’t recommend that single people make it a habit of ramming their car into the cars of other people they would like to meet–that could get expensive, and people could get hurt. But if you are looking to find the mate that God has for you, don’t overlook any situation you may be in. You never know when you may be in that express lane, at the gas pumps, or even in the back seat of a police car with your soul mate. Don’t be afraid to strike up conversations with these people. Most of those conversations may not go anywhere, but you never know when one might change your entire life.

Here is one closing thought. To this very day, we both still have the little pieces of paper on which we wrote our contact information. I’m not very sentimental about much, but those two little slips of paper are two of our most valuable possessions.